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Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

Some interesting observations:
(Disclaimer: None are meant to offend anyone in anyway. These were sent to me in an email and do not necessarily reflect my personal views.)

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.


2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.


3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?


5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.


6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.


7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?


8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?


9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?


10. Is there another word for synonym?


11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"


12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?


13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?


14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?


15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?


16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?


17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?


18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking?


19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?


20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?


21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?


22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.


23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?


24 Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?


25. How is it possible to have a civil war?


26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?


27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?


28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?


29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?


30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?


31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?


32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

sarahjane Brisbane
Posts: 2,951

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Stitch SanguineCreations
Wales
Posts: 395

ROFL, I've had to share that, it's so funny.

makafelts Charlotte Des Roches Designs
Adkins, Texas
Posts: 1,543

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Hugs &

Jodi Falk Bears by Jodi
Gahanna , Ohio USA
Posts: 3,463

TOOOOOOOOOOOO funny I am reading them to Hubby and laughing louder every one !!!!!


:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Dilu Posts: 8,574

Ahhh thank you Mis Daphne!

It was nice to have a reason to giggle

gollyhugs
dilu

Densteds Densteds
Posts: 2,056
Website

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

don't know Daphne..but they've obviously trained our kangaroos to do it too!!!

Bearalive Bearalive
S.California
Posts: 791
Website

Thanks you guys! Like Dilu said , is good to have a giggle or two these days bear_grin Thank Daphne bear_thumb
I did passesd it around .
bear hugs and Golly smiles.
Gladys bear_flower

Cleathero Creations Cleathero Creations
Ripley, Queensland
Posts: 1,925

I love this.  I have had it or something similar emailed to me.

SueAnn Past Time Bears
Double Oak, Texas
Posts: 22,132

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Kathleen Pa
Posts: 626

very cute Daphne bear_original

Kathleen

Judi Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379
Daphne wrote:

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
.


30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

LMOA!!!!!!!!!!!! :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Jodi Falk Bears by Jodi
Gahanna , Ohio USA
Posts: 3,463

Judi !!! I liked those also

:crackup:

AndreaM Drea's Bears
Ontario
Posts: 576

I can hardly see the keys to type, my eyes a filled with laughter tears :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:
I love #16 the best bear_grin

AndreaM

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