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This is so hard for me,
I guess because my whole life is my work 
I have several collectors whom are very close to me in their life travels. When they have a life crisis it pulls me right in, I don't seem to have the ability to insulate myself 
Believe me! My own life is VERy complicated at the moment. Is there a way to get to know your collectors and still separate yourself? I haven't found it :doh:
Karen
Posts: 3,540I would say as a whole, bear artists, and collectors are a huge group of very, beary caring individuals. Its nigh on impossible not to get wrapped up in the trials and tribulations of your collectors, as over time, they've morphed into your friends as well.
I'd also say its highly possible for you to be left with no 'you' time if you're in constant contact with enough of them. Try to set yourself a time limit on the computer ~ checking on the bare necessities needed for your business. And then head to your work station to create, or whatever the rest of your life entails. Its all too easy to think the computer is life. :hug: You need time for you too :hug:
As for the emotional traumas that come with it....we all get that day in, day out. Its the risks you take while living. 
I'll hold the kleenex box if you'd like :hug:
Back Road BearsWhether it's a collector, neighbor, hairdresser, friend, relative... as a compassionate person it's always easy to get 'sucked in' to other people's lives and genuinely care about what happens to them.
But limits do have to be set, you and your life come first. If you can't work out things in your own life and keep your head above water and a smile on your face, you are not going to be much help to anyone else.
It's nice to offer a listening ear, a bit of advice, just as you'd expect from your friends. But you don't expect your friends to be miserable over what's happening to you, let it take energy away from their own lives, do you? So you have to try not to let their crisises become yours. We are each given plenty to deal with without taking on everyone else's stuff too.
Sounds harsh, I know but I was recently in your shoes and had to give myself a few serious talking to's. I was a miserable mess and worrying about EVERYONE and EVERYTHING... feeling everyone else's pain, trying to solve everyone else's problems... mean while my own life was falling apart fast because I was side-tracked with too many things. So I don't mean to sound harsh, I know how hard this situation is and we aren't selfish people, it's our nature to be compassionate and put others before us. But that's not always healthy.
Try to establish priorities and where you fit in and where your collector friends fit in. Write it down if you have to as a reminder that you are further up on that list than they are. Take care of you first, then give time to them if you have it.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
Hearts Ease Bearsellen i thought i was the only one who tunes out the news! sometimes that much "news" or speculation is too much..especiially the health warnings,,the terror alerts..geez louise! i am in that generation that was taught to duck under our desks in case of a nuclear bomb..maybe thats it? early conditioning?
God help me to accept the things i cannot change ..the courage to change the things i can,,and the wisdom to know the differrence! seems like so few people really care about anybody else lately that it is nice to know there are people who till do! but i agree yo need to take care of YOU FIRST! otherwise who can you help? big hugs until then! deb
MerBear OriginalsWay to go Daphne - good advice. :clap:
Marion
Bears by JodiKaren , I think it is just the fate of the kind hearted person to get sucked in, we want to help, we feel helpless when those we care about hurt !! Just PRAY, PRAY,PRAY !! Thats the best thing we can do for any one, the greatest gift we can send !! And after we pray trust GOD will take care of it and let go !! LET IT GO !!! Thats the hard part , believe me I know !!!
Baird'sBears
How can you not become close to the lovely people who adopt your babies
I think the trick is to lend a sympathetic ear when people need to share, vent, grieve--and assure yourself that listening is usually the greatest help you can give to a friend in crisis. We always wish we could do more, and sometimes can, but not often.
As a certifiable worry-wart, I have developed a technique. Whenever I start obsessing about a friend`s or family member`s problem, I call or email just to touch base. In most cases, it turns out that these people are feeling better, or moving on, or trying something else, and I realize that I`ve been worrying more than they have.
Listening is a contribution to solving the problem. Worrying just multiplies the suffering.
I`ve got a little black cat bleating at me as I write. Phoebe doesn`t want anything (I`ve tried many times over). She just wants to talk!
Posts: 8,574Karen,
Because your work is art and because artists put so much of their psyche, their soul, their heart into their work and because certain collectors become closer to us than others it is easy to see how you come to be in this situation.
I think the question would be how much emotional time do you have to give this issue?
I do not see anything wrong, as Teddyart is so different, being a touchy feely comfy warm art. But you have to determine how much of yourself you are willing to share, and set the boundries to protect yourself.
I think your art is delightful and love the idea that you have made friends of namelss faceless customers. You take the concept of warm fuzzy art to the next step.
Set your boundaries and all will be well.
What an interesting and thoughtful topic. Thank you.
dilu
:hug: Thank you all so much for your wise advice,
My crisis came a couple of weeks ago when I got a phone call from a collector friend in tears and very emotional. I love her dearly; she's been with me from the start and has always supported me when I had doubts about my cats We also talked about "life" stuff. She had been heroic in her support of her husband through a terminal illness. She gave up everything to be with him. I think I was one of the first people she called when he died He had a deathbed confession that was truly horrible, right out of a Greek Tragedy. I've had tragedy in my life and I think I was able to give her some comfort?? I couldn't dismiss this, nothing in my life was this emotional and she needed support. I guess this is the flip side of getting to know people at a distance and through the internet. I think you truly can get to really know a person through conversations over the years, but in a situation such as this, you can't be there to hug them and comfort them in a physical way.
Karen
Posts: 3,540How can you do anything, BUT have your heart ripped out, and still be there for support for them?? 
I've been stuck in the same pickle where friends halfway round the world have lost pets, or have otherwise been heartsick. The phone helps, but it does me no good as I tend to be a 'hug' sorta person. My only solution thus far has been to send along Bearnard, my first real fur bear. He's answered the clarion call of the ted, and has been able to go and give support and hugs, even when I could not.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: I know they're only 'silly little icons', but sending you and your friend some massive hugs :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Baird'sBears Karen, your friend's experience sounds agonizing--she was very fortunate to have a friend she could trust with her personal burden. I'm sure you've been a great comfort to her!
Thanks, Eileen and Debbie
Eileen, I like your sentiment. Dogs and my cats, I want to go where they go and I'm sure everyone I love will be there, too! Love is Love whatever the species 
Debbie, thank you, I've always known that you are as mushy as I am (is that good?!). Just look at your baby from the horse tribe 
But I will take everyone's advice, Thank you. We do have to protect ourselves if we want to continue!
Karen
JeannieB Bears
Hi Karen,
I'm proud to say as a collector and friend of Tammy (Beckoning Bears)....she has been with me through the loss of father May2, loss of my brother June 25 and the serious illness of my mom over the past year. I feel bad when I write with sad news.....and I'm afraid there will be more to come. Truth is...as a strong "adult", I usually have her bear Alex in my lap when I write about these things. Alex sat at the other side of the table when I sat, crying....working on my dads estate When I had to tell my mom that her son died.....she clutched her bear "Lady Spencer"....
Her bears have brought joy and kindness from a distance and it means a lot to me and my mom!! I admire her talent as an artist and her kindness has been God sent.
I'm not one to give advice....but, my thoughts are be yourself...you can't be anybody else! Caring about your collectors is a part of who you are! You may never know how much that can mean to somebody else!
Hugs,
JeannieB
Baird'sBears So true . . . I couldn't stand to spend eternity without dogs and cats. And rabbits and rats. And selected people.
Actually, I got kicked out of Sunday School at age 10 for objecting to the teacher's idiotic statement that animals have no souls. I said that if that was true, I didn't want to go to Heaven. I spent the rest of the hour fuming in the cloakroom, though I was supposed to be thinking about my dreadful blasphemy.
Researchers are still in the early stages of admitting that the "other animals" reason and feel . . . .duh. Some time ago, they discovered that Rats giggle when tickled. Who doesn't? Recently, they've discovered that Rats also weigh the odds of getting a treat when they're not sure of the right response. Double duh.
'
I love your signature too. We can learn a lot from our precious fellow travelers. I love my dogs because they're so good at living in the moment, and I love my cats because they seem to have lived forever, and know what really counts--good food, clean fur, a sunny place to nap in, getting your own way, and having someone to cuddle when (and only when) you feel like it!
Posts: 2,203I have artists whoem I concider very good friends. As far as not getting involved with there personal issues, That is almost impossible. As far as Animals and souls go, Anyone who believes that animals don't have souls will never covince me of that.
Ugh, Jeannie you've got me blubbering all over my keyboard . I was casually reading throught his post and saw my name 
That was so sweet of you to say those things. What more can I ask for as a bear artist. I am just so touched that my bears have been so comforting to you and your mom. You have supported me and been there for me also. Thank you so much for being the collector and dear friend that you are. :hug: :hug: :hug:
Karen, there is nothing wrong with being a caring person. We just have to step back sometimes and know when to comfort and listen without getting totally engulfed in someone's life. Sometimes just listening is all that can be done. We don't have to have all the answers and can't solve every issue. Worrying solves nothing. Just simply letting them know that you sincerely care can mean more than we know. Easier said than done.
Posts: 3,540Eileen, you and I both would have been sat stewing in that cloakroom!!! 
:crackup: I've heard the same stupid statements about animals having no souls. It comes from people trying to be above them, when as you say, we've so much more to learn from them, if only we take the time.
Karen, I'm about as mushy as it comes 
!! And I think its a good thing 
But as the others have said, you need to find coping devices. I hope some of the others have given you good advice to chose from. :hug: :hug:
q.D.paToOtieSI'm definitely not a good one to give advice about not letting your feelings get involved. I'm one of those people who wears her heart on her sleeve. It's hard when collectors become your friends, exchanging letters or E-mails with you, sending Christmas Cards, etc. I do think Daphne gave some good advice though.
Hang in there Karen!
Hugs,
Lisa
