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bearhug07 Strange Bears
Sydney
Posts: 444

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
--canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

TamiL Dolls N Dreams
Aurora, Colorado
Posts: 6,454

bear_wub  bear_wub  bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin

Carolynn Teenytinyteddybears
Posts: 444

I love it  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

danceswithteddybears Dances With Teddy Bears
Pacific Northwest
Posts: 697

Oh, that's brilliant!  Thanks for a good laugh. :crackup:

      bear_flower

SueAnn Past Time Bears
Double Oak, Texas
Posts: 21,683

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

Very clever . . . love it!

matilda Matilda Huggington-beare
WA
Posts: 5,551

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Now if only they could read

russellbears Russell Bears
Perth
Posts: 493
Website

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup: I actually laughed so much, I cried bear_thumb

ScaliWagGrrs ScaliWagGrrs
Denver, Colorado
Posts: 1,157
Website

That is fantastic! I really love the FURniture!! Mine certainly is! bear_grin
Beth

Jellybelly Bears Jellybelly Bears
Australia
Posts: 4,066

hehe, I love this, and keep meaning to print it up to put on my fridge  bear_tongue  btw, love the front cover of ABC Sandra!

Barling Bears Barling Bears
Nr. Maidstone, Kent
Posts: 1,523
Website

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:
I absolutely love that!  I am in total agreement with everything said!!!  Brilliant! 

I'm still chuckling and have read it several times!!!!! Think I will pass this on to lots of people!

Hugs

Marilyn bear_flower

momanimallover Taber, Alberta
Posts: 1,795

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup: purrfect!! bear_grin  bear_grin

Kathleen Pa
Posts: 626

this is too funny, I'm putting it on the fridge too! bear_original

Kathleen

kathytaylor Ruby Mountain Bears
Northern Nevada, USA
Posts: 1,467

THAT IS TOO FUNNY, AND DEFINATELY TRUE FOR MY HOUSE, ESPECIALLY THE FIGHTING OVER THE BED!!!AND FUR NITURE!! :crackup:

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