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clare14 Country Bears
England
Posts: 3,066

I was really saddened yesterday afternoon when walking to pick my son up from school.   I was innocently minding my own business walking up the hill, as I do every day, when a group of lads of around age 16 started to call me a fat **** and saying I should go to Weight Watchers.   'What ever'  bear_rolleyes  bear_rolleyes  but you know what I thought, I hope my kids don't ever do anything like that, not that they would dare to do any such thing at the moment, but it's who they get involved with along the way isn't it?  bear_shocked  bear_shocked   bear_sad  It REALLY worries me.    It's such a shame some kids have no respect these days, we wouldn't have dreamed of doing that!!   And when they're in groups they are so intimidating, needless to say I completely ignored it as I'm in no condition to do much at the moment, and hey, if only they knew what happened the last time I went to a slimming club!!   :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

PS - I'm not THAT big, promise, makes me sound gargantuan!!!   :redface:  :redface:

Roxanne Bear Paws by Roxanne
Odessa, Tx
Posts: 917

Yeppers..... Kids have no sense of respect now a-days....   :hug:  bear_flower
I think I would have told them....
Ya, I might be a bit over weight but I could loose it.
Your just ugly and always will be, theres nothing you can do about that!  :crackup:

kim "a bear by kim"
merseyside
Posts: 2,401

chin up chuck!! they prob have an iq combined of 50!
if id have been there im afraid i would have said something back just to show them up!!!
idiots... im trying so hard not to swear.....
look on the bright side... what goes around comes around..

Helena Bears-a-Bruin!
Macclesfield, UK
Posts: 1,291

Aww Clare, I'm feeling annoyed for you :mad:. If I ever found out my daughter did/said something like that to someone she'd get the biggest telling off ever... but then she knows what's right and wrong (I hope  :|).

I really don't know what the answer is as far as the question of disrepect goes, but I do know you should pay no attention whatsoever to their opinion about your weight. Let's face it, they are barely old enough to even HOLD an opinion!!! And I'm pretty sure you're a normal, healthy weight anyway. Put it down to the ignorance of youth....

NewelleyBears Newelley.Bears
Harrow, Ontario
Posts: 284

Awww Clare....

That's horrible!!  As a bigger person myself, I feel soooo sad to hear of things like this happening.  You did the right thing by just ignoring them.  They were hoping to get a reaction out of you and you didn't give them the satisfaction.  I don't understand what is wrong with some people these days.  It is like they have no censor in their brains and just blurt out the first things that pop into their small, feeble minds.  You are a wonderful person...Don't let some childish, inconsiderate people get to you!

Jeremy

edie Bears by Edie
Southern Alberta
Posts: 2,068

Kids in a group will do things they wouldn't dream of doing when on their own. I think you were smart to ignore them, Clare - I'm sure they were trying to get a rise out of you and if they get nothing maybe it won't seem like so much "fun". Ignorance like that is not worth another thought so don't let it get you down!  :hug:  :hug:

Amanda Pandy Potter Bears
Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 1,864

Chin up, chubby chops!  bear_grin There just laugh it off, matey. Been there, as you know, on the fat comments. I've had it all. Lets see ginger nut, speccy four eyes, ugly, duracell copper coloured top, fat cow. The memories! The best one, as an adult was on holiday. We had gone Tenerife and were in a bar, loads of footballers there and you know 'I am sooooo cool' sorts, don't know now what we were doing there!  bear_shocked Then as we had to go the drag queen made a right comment. Can't say on a polite forum, but cheeky devil! The whole bar heard. Eek. Saying that he looked better in a dress than I did. bear_whistle

As to the youngsters, the front page of the daily mail today makes for depressing reading. A man was killed by yobs when he stood up to them. I'm of the 'roll the eyes' bear_rolleyes and just walk off school myself. Just remember, they do grow up eventually, sometimes better, sometimes worse, but at least you and yours stand by on the right side of good.  :hug:

FenBeary Folk FenBeary Folk
Pointon Fen, Lincolnshire, UK
Posts: 2,234

:hug: to you, I have been large all my life and found that it is not only the young that can be very rude, ignorant people come in all shapes and sizes.

Years ago I wanted to do a degree, I approached the local careers advice centre with 2 yrs old in tow, after telling her what I was interested in , she took several minutes extolling the virtues of my age of 26, due to the fact that I could gain entry to uni via mature student root, I was assured that the fact I had no qualifications did not matter as I was over 25. I kept quiet, I am used to this type of treatment and thanked her for the info, she then had to fill in a form for her superior stating the advice she had given. the second question was at what age did you leave school......................"19" I replied, followed by ........."Go on ask me, I dare you", very red faced she then asked if I had any qualifications?
I am sure she never made that mistake in her life again.

As for your own children, I am sure they will be fine, cos they have a mom that cares, I too worried that our daughter would get involved with the wrong crowd, she hasn't. bear_thumb

Anyway, the next time, or if it happens agian, just smile in the knowledge that you are a very talented lady (I so love your bears bear_wub )You have more talent in your little finger than all of them put together :hug:

Lisa q.D.paToOtieS
Near Fredericksburg, VA
Posts: 1,349

Wow, how incredibly rude and insensitive.  Just think though, at least they were taunting you on something that you will be able to change.  Unfortunately for them, you can't change stupidity nor can you buy good manners.

Hang in there Hugs,
Lisa

DENBY30 DENBY BEARS
EDISON, NEW JERSEY
Posts: 1,586

:hug: Boy, how rude, I myself am a big person, but only for the past 15 years, this was after I quit smoking. I gained 100 pounds and can not seem to do anything about it.  I know people look and wonder how I can be this way, like you, I just ignore the ignorant and pay attention to the things that count.  I hope you will not let this get to you, your picture is lovely and you don't even look overweight.
There is very little respect with our youth today, we can only teach them right from wrong and hope for the best.What goes around comes around, thats what I say.
Take care.

thumperantiques Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,643

Hi Clare,
     That's just awful!  A lot of kids these days are brats, although there are still really nice ones out there.  I am soooo glad we raised our two kids in a very small town, where they knew if they did anything nasty or wrong, we would find out about it before they even had time to make it home.  It made raising respectful kids much easier!  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:   There was definitely "it takes a village to raise a child" mentality there and we were grateful for it.  I'm not sure I would have been able to keep quiet.  I would probably have asked them "if there mothers had any children that lived".  They never know how to answer that.  You probably were right to say nothing, but my husband says "that's impossible for me!" :crackup:  :crackup:

                                                                                              hugs,

                                                                                              Brenda

BootButtonBears BootButtonBears
Adelaide
Posts: 2,837
Website

Hi Clare, I am so sorry you had to ensure these taunts.  Unfortunately, it is safety in numbers with some teenagers.  They do it in a group and egg each other on, but would never have the courage to do it on their own.  It is just a lesson to us all to reinforce in our children the reasons behind respecting one another and having the strength to go against the "group" if they are ever in that situation.  Lots of love and cuddles to you for this rotten incident.

patsylakebears Patsy Lake Bears
Sydney
Posts: 3,442

Hey Clare being big myself I feel for you. I agree alot of kids these days just don't seem to have any respect for themselves let aloan any one else. I have and would have done exactly what you did ingore them they don't deserve anything else. I didn't need to go to a slimming club to get my wieght Clare  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  my came with giving up smoking and of late the medication I am on.  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

Judi Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379

Clare, You are a BEAUTIFUL lady both inside as well as the outside.   bear_flower  bear_flower  bear_flower  bear_flower  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:
I believe that what goes around will come around. :twisted:
And if you know you are raising your children to respect others I would think you don;t have anything to worry about.  I teach my children to be respectful and so far so good.  If they ever behaved like that ......I would be so disappointed and upset.

Ignore  those foolish immature punks.

:hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

Shelli SHELLI MAKES
Chico, California
Posts: 9,939
Website

Shelli Retired Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

What Jeremy said!

Of course you're smart enough to know that's not at all about you, and entirely about them.  Right?

Hugs, beautiful girlfriend.

bearlyart Canna Bear Paint
NY
Posts: 749

I'm sorry for your experience with such nasty kids, Clare.  Several years ago, my mother was going through a divorce; you can't imagine the hateful things that the pre-teen and teen boys in the neighborhood screamed at her every time she walked out her front door.  There was no need to reply to them.  Almost every single one of the kids that screamed those things at her have had their own parents divorce since then.  Karma will inevitably have it's own way.

Hugs,
Kelly

nimbleknot Cupcake Bears
Austin, Texas
Posts: 711
Website

Like I tell my kindergarteners through 5th graders...IGNORE IT!!!! It has nothing to do with you Clare. But still, crummy things like this still sting a little bit.

It makes me so mad when I hear stuff like this. We had a problem with another kid doing this to my daughter through email. We printed out the emails and gave it to the kids parents. You know what happened? The parents got mad at US. When we see them at the school they ignore us. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I truly believe it's the parents fault not teaching their kid proper values, respect, dignity, etc.

And you're right, it's sad. Look what those kids have to look up to for a life guide...dumb parents.

Dilu Posts: 8,574

awww hon, you get the last laugh!

How you ask?

Because you have learned to move on and keep your chin up, and you know what awaits the little hooligans, and they will find themselves on the wrong end of an insult or dirty trick,

No one gets out of life without their fair share of pain and insults and it isn't the pain that matters, but how we manage our selves through the pain.

Like Judi said, you are a lovely lady in all aspects, and WE are made richer by your presence.

Thank you


dilu

SueAnn Past Time Bears
Double Oak, Texas
Posts: 21,715

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

I'm really sorry you were a victim of that type of shabby behavior, Clare.  And yes, the parents need a course in Parenting 101:  How to Rear Loving, Sensitive, Kind Children.  The quote by Virginia Satir under my signature is one of my favorites . . . and the way you coped with this incident was right on.   bear_thumb  bear_thumb  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

katiescraftworks katiescraftworks
Posts: 88

Makes my blood boil when I hear of such things.............  I, myself am rather "well upholstered" bear_happy  but I am very fit. I walk for over 6 hours a week delivering junk mail.......... I have Multiple Sclerosis and my balance is rather bad, but, pushing my delivery trolley keeps me amazingly upright (most of the time. lol).......anyway, I have found that every now and then I will come across hoons driving past in a car who think it is highly amusing to yell and make fun of the "fat lady".

It is a really awful thing to have to go through and I want to send you a hug {{{{{{{{{Clare}}}}}}}}} People can be so thoughtless and cruel. I too would hate it if any of my kids did something like that, but, I really do not think they would because they have grown up watching me struggle with my weight and with health issues in general and they know how hard I struggle.

What has often bothered me is the thought that maybe my kids were teased cos their mum is overweight. My two older children are now grown and living away from home. My youngest son just turned 13.  None of my kids have ever told me they have been teased cos their mum is fat, but, the thought does haunt me.  BTW, all my kids are normal weight......

I have also been verbally abused while in public, not because of my weight, but because of my unsteadiness on my feet. I do have very bad balance and I am clumsy and tend to bump into stuff or walk crooked. Not because I am drunk, but, because I have MS.   Most people like to assume it is because I am mucking around and acting like an idiot on purpose..........as if...............  arghhhhhhhhhh

I could stop a lot of the comments by using a walking aid, like a cane and that would give people a clue that I am not drunk, but, that I have an illness, but, why should I? 

Yes, I use my trolley to walk long distances to deliver junk mail, but, I do not need it or a cane for walking at the mall (a shopping trolley is a great balancing aid... lol)

Bear hugs, Cathie

PS: Sorry for the long ramble, but, I relate to what you went through.

valewoodbears Valewood Bears
Yorkshire
Posts: 6,537
Website

Oh clare it makes you so mad, a lot of kids today are just horrible and I think too that a lot of the time it's the parents to blame but when they get into gangs they just show off to each other don't they and I think yesterday, sounds like if anybody had been walking past them they would have had something to say  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

Pauline

doodlebears Doodlebears
UK
Posts: 7,414

doodlebears Celebration Ambassador

Clare just ignore the little 'Bleep, bleeps!' So what if you have a little more roundness at the moment...It's a beautiful baby for heavens sake.  bear_thumb 
I get this all the time, especially when I have to use my mobility scooter. One time there were four lads and two girls who thought they would walk so slow so I could not get past them...I just kept going I said watch out kids crazy, fat, disabled person coming through...they moved quickly and one lad shouted after me 'Hey missus I like you. I've had many of these things happen and I know I'll get more.
Clare I wish I were as 'fat' as you...I would feel soooooo slim, even with a baby under construction. You're beautiful my girl and don't let any ignorant, I wanna seem cool, kids let you feel any different. It's them that have a problem not you.

Big hugs for me preggy friend,
Hugs, Jane.  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

Carolyn Green Draffin Bears
Auckland New Zealand
Posts: 5,354
Website

That makes me very angry when children do not have respect for their elders. (hateful little .....)
I think you did the right thing by ignoring them.

Hugs to you Clare
bear_flower  :hug:  bear_original

Michelle Helen Chaska, Minnesota
Posts: 2,897

Dear Clare: That is shocking isn't it....It is best not to respond, for they want you to react so they can continue their taunting. Just ignore them. Plus, in this day and age, one never knows what they would do in a confrontation i.e.: guns and knives....

But, for as many bad seeds out there, there are many good kids who are respectful and kind. It is hard to see that when you encounter boorish adolescents.

Nobody deserves to be insulted. Those kids are going to learn soon enough the consequences of their behavior. For I wager, they will be fired from jobs, have poor relationships and possibly end up in jail....That is the kind of life they face. Sad when you think of it really....

clare14 Country Bears
England
Posts: 3,066

Awwwww you're all so kind to me...   :hug:  :hug:  :hug:   Thank you!!   bear_wub  bear_wub    I'm sorry to hear that many of you have suffered torments like this too, it's just not on.   bear_sad

Although I take it with a pinch of salt, I just find it so sad that some people feel they can treat others so badly, and after all, these are our future generation, it's all very worrying what the world will become.   bear_cry  bear_cry

Thank heavens for teddy bears!!  Talking of which, I got my (fat)   :crackup:  :crackup:  butt into gear and finished 3 this week, will be back to show you later...  xxx

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