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Michelle Helen Chaska, Minnesota
Posts: 2,897

My friend sent this to me and thought some of you would get a good giggle from it:



  Proof it's better to leave them home!


TIRED/BORED HUSBAND

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on  her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping  boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is  like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in  our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made  a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official  voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began  crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While  handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store  suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October  22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a
fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'



15. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was?


And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

One of the clerks passed out.

SueAnn Past Time Bears
Double Oak, Texas
Posts: 21,683

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

bear_tongue  bear_tongue  bear_tongue  bear_tongue  bear_tongue  bear_tongue  Well, that couldn't have been my husband . . . he loves to shop (maybe even more than I do)!

suejennings TeddyBuys
Kent
Posts: 1,154
Website

Very funny, Michelle.  Thanks for sharing! bear_grin

thondra rosenheim / bayern
Posts: 311
Website

hahahahahahahaha bear_laugh
thank you bear_laugh

desertmountainbear desertmountainbear
Bloomsburg, PA
Posts: 5,399
Lisa q.D.paToOtieS
Near Fredericksburg, VA
Posts: 1,349

I haven't laughed so hard in a while - totally hilarious!  Not sending it to my hubby though.  He might get ideas!

rowarrior The Littlest Thistle
Glasgow
Posts: 6,212

:d  :d  :d

wubbiebear Braille Teddies
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Posts: 671

I just shared this to my facebook page.  Lol lol lol.

Karon Posts: 751

I find it VERY funny to see the the husbands who WANT to acompany their wives to the Bear Shows and those that have been dragged along.  The LOOK says it all!!!! :crackup:

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