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Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

Every once in a while I get a request for something that challenges my abilities, stretches me to the max as there are never enough hours in the day, or is something that I know I'm going to regret doing.... yet I say "Yes, I'll do it!" anyway!

Today was one of those days. I could just kick myself.... if only I bent that way!

One of the shops that sells my bears called, they had a gentleman there wanting to know if I did dogs. "Yes" I said. Mistake number one... should have asked the breed FIRST! Turns out the man, who loves my work, showers me with compliments, says his wife already has two of my bears, says he'd like a 2 FOOT TALL

GREAT DANE

. GULP! CHOKE! My head starts spinning bear_wacko ... imagining all THAT is going to involve. I LOVE to do furry dogs! Ya know, ones with long hair that cover any imperfections, add character and can often times be what ultimately makes the dog look like the breed! (Take a Yorkie for example.) I didn't ask the color but imagine I'll be trying out my airbrush. I was smart enough to quote high $$ and give myself a HUGE lead time.

But I'm already cursing myself for agreeing to such an adventure. I really want to just make BEARS!!! OOAK bears to be exact!!!

I did the same thing with the movie bunnies.... said yes, then asked questions! You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now!  :doh:   :doh:   :doh:   :doh:   :doh:   :doh:   :doh:   :doh:

Do any of you have trouble just saying "NO!" ?????????????

WildThyme Wild Thyme Originals
Hudson, Ohio
Posts: 3,115

Daphne... you and I must be related somehow!  First the procrastination thing... and now this... Oh I have the hardest time saying "no!"  My daughter's Kindergarten class is doing a Mother's Day project... they are making these pillows that the children have picked out the fabrics for....
So the teacher calls... "Mrs. Basta, it says on your questionare that you sew, would you like to help us with a small sewing project?"

Before I know what has happened... I say YES!  I am immagining that I will be sewing around the four sides of two pieces of fabric to make a pillow... easy stuff if my sewing machine doesn't start doing that "crazy jumping bobbin thing." 

The project comes home on the bus with my daughter in a huge box.... It's QUILTING!  Something I have never done in my life!  AGGGG!!!!!  So I guess I am actually piecing 12 little squares into a pillow top for each child.... and they have to be in the ORDER that the children have put them in!  AGGGGG!

I may be popping in from time to time in the next week to ask sewing machine questions ladies!  Maybe even quilting questions! 

Daph... I'm with you... I should have just said NO from the get go.  Or at least asked what the project involved before saying YES.

Hey... at least you are being paid!   bear_grin

Kim Basta
Wild Thyme Originals

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568
WildThyme wrote:

I may be popping in from time to time in the next week to ask sewing machine questions ladies!  Maybe even quilting questions! 

Daph... I'm with you... I should have just said NO from the get go.  Or at least asked what the project involved before saying YES.

That's the key... ASKING QUESTIONS B E F O R E SAYING YES! Not sure I'll ever learn that one. The circumstances are never the same and unless I've 'been there done that' I'll be clueless!

If you have quilting questions ask away!!! I'd give anything to have time to quilt again! But I'd be happy to help in any way I can... I know we have other quilters here to help too. What are the blocks? Pictures or just special fabric or......??? I did a project with my neice last year. We printed family photos onto fabric, used floral print fabric as a border and made pillows. It was fun.


I'm glad I'm not alone here in my desire to do anything I can for anyone!!!

I just received photos of the GREAT DANE in question. To my relief she's black with just a white spot on her chest and white hind toes. No sweat (so I say now!) It'll be a few months until I make her but I will indeed share pictures.

DebbieD Posts: 3,540

Awwwwwhhhhh....I bet she's a sweetie!   bear_wub   At least she's not a Harlequin Dane, but its going to be challenging enough to make one two feet tall. 

Ooooh, I'm so like that too...agreeing before I know the full extent of the project.   bear_sad   I know you like being STRETCHED Daphne, but are you beginning to feel like "Elasta Girl" from "The Invincibles"?   Hmmmm...well I do seem to remember she came out just peachy in the end  bear_happy  and I know you will too!   :hug:

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568
DebbieD wrote:

At least she's not a Harlequin Dane

That was my fear!!! I'd have had to say no or else make the dog and send it to Judi to airbrush! Can you imagine the price on that project!!!???  :crackup:

plushkinbear BEAR ME SHOOTKA
Vladivostok, RUSSIA
Posts: 2,139

Daphne,  :crackup:  :crackup:  :hug:  bear_shocked

I think it's a main problem of a seeking soul of artist...
Me too, say yes! then think  bear_shocked
Moreover, if the customer want the bear so badly, I made huge discounts ... just to make him feel good.. bear_angry  bear_whistle  bear_wacko

What can I say, we all love to make bears...Thank god I have a working hubby!  bear_wub  bear_laugh  :crackup:
Julia

Tammy Beckoning Bears
Nova Scotia
Posts: 3,739
Website

Daphne we must be twins separated at birth.  I am the same way.  But, I am learning slowly.  It feels so good to be able to say no sometimes.  A couple of years ago I agreed to make a stuffed horse for a woman's daughter.  She wanted it to look like Spirit from the Disney movie. 

Well, I couldn't find a horse pattern so I had to make a pattern from a barbie doll 3 inch unicorn pattern.  The finished horse needed to be  to be about 3 feet. I traced the pattern on clear plastic and borrowed an overhead projector from church . I projected it onto paper on the wall to enlarge and trace.   NEVER AGAIN - and I only charged her $60 which barely covered material costs-  I MUST HAVE BEEN NUTS  Here is a picture. 

scan0001.jpg

Good luck with the dog, but remember not to let it add even more stress to your life.  Nothing says you can't changre your mind.  Easier said than done I know.  Seriously though, it isn't worth the stress.  That is why I don't do many commissions anymore.    I'm learning to say no when I feel I need to.  But, being a people pleaser can be a real curse sometimes. 

Hang in there !    :hug:

Jellybelly Bears Jellybelly Bears
Australia
Posts: 4,066

haha, yep daphne, no is a hard thing to say and get right lol  good luck on that great dane.  Hey at least you are in charge of the time frame  bear_grin

Kim good luck on that quilting!!!  oh to know how to do things lol, can be a curse lol

Tammy what a gorgeous Spirit!  bear_wub

Laniebears Arctophilia
Shropshire UK
Posts: 1,429
Website

Daphne ,

Simple answer no NOT ANY MORE I DONT...

ONE OF MY MANY CAREERS.... I used to work as an area manager for a big company here in the UK HORRIBLE JOB.... One very STRESSFUL job.... AND THATS WHERE I LEARNT TO SAY NO NO NO.... bear_grin

I think its something we learn to do better as we go through life...

HOWEVER GETTING BACK TO THE GIANT DOG bear_original

What a challenge....  bear_whistle

TAKE IT SLOW...
DEEP BREATH BREATHE ...
Dont make promises you cant keeeeep...
YOU KNOW THE GARB.... :crackup:

:hug: Good luck  :hug: KEEP US POSTED LOTS OF PROGRESS PICS...

Lanie x

pandamac 'EmBears
Northern New York State
Posts: 917
Website

Say NO????? never........Daphne, you could always work on the dog the way I worked on my daughter's prom dress several years ago..... Day #1, laid out the pattern, day 2, cut 1/2 the pieces, day 3, cut the rest, day 4, sewed 1 seam only, day 5 to.........whatever, sewed only 1 seam a day! I knew if I did any more each day, I would do something wrong and get mad and ruin the whole thing, so it took me over a month to make the 1 dress! But it was worth it.....she was happy and I did not get upset and it turned out beautifully. (sorry, no pics, it was before digital cameras!)

It will take a long time to get the dog done that way, but it is much less nerve-wracking, and you can say you did something on it everyday!  bear_original

Good Luck with it!
pandamac

Laura Lynn Teddy Bear Academy
Nicholasville, KY
Posts: 3,653
Website

Laura Lynn Banner Sponsor

Oh Daphne I know what you mean!  I think it's a "woman" thing to want to please everyone....

NancyAndFriends Posts: 1,153

:crackup:   I used to have the same problem and still do to some extent...especially when money is involved.  But my mother-in-law...who was really bad at not being able to say no, finally realized she was killing herself doing things she really didn't want to do.......and she told me, that she finally got it thru her head

"Just because someone throws you the ball, doesn't mean you have to catch it.                                     

try to remember that Daphne!!!

hugs,
nanc

Judi Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379

Oh Daphne.... I do feel for you. :doh:   I agree with everyone else about being a people pleaser...but then what about you?  You need to please yourself a little too. 

I have about 6 custom orders at this moment, and what I find is I often sew with resentment  when I have to work to someone elses specifications.  I have just received a request for one of my felted faced OPie bears.  I priced it high enough and they agreed...along with a long paragraph detailing how I am to make the ears, eye placement, size of nose, curve of the mouth...and the list went on.  I have explained that I work from my heart but would try to fill her specifications.  I am resenting this project before I have even cut out the mohair.

Well, this decided it for me.  I am done with custom orders once these are finished.  It is OKAY to say 'NO" (now I just have to practice it a bit more :redface:   Custom orders loom like a black cloud over my head.  I need my time for my own creating.  I explain to people that I would be happy to email them a notification when new bears are available.

It is so hard to say "no" when someone likes your work so much they want a special custom made bear by you.  It makes you feel wanted.  However, is it worth the headache?

You're not a bad person for saying "no", and the more you do it , the easier it will become.

matilda Matilda Huggington-beare
WA
Posts: 5,551

At least you will only have to make it once. Not like the rabbit. bear_whistle  I know, I'm awfully cheeky. :hug: goodluck with the pooch!!! and Kim al lthe best with the squares, you poor dear. :hug:
Wendy bear_flower

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

Kim.... perhaps we could trade... I'll do the pillows... you can do the great dane!

Wendy..... yes, it could be more rabbits!!!! UGH! NO!!!!!!!!

Lanie..... you make NO sound easy.

Everyone..... I'm going to start practicing NO!!!!!!

Eileen Baird'sBears
Toronto
Posts: 3,873

I priced it high enough and they agreed...along with a long paragraph detailing how I am to make the ears, eye placement, size of nose, curve of the mouth...and the list went on.

ACK!!

Here I was, feeling just the merest bit jealous and wishing someone would ask me for a special order!  :doh:

Are special order customers really that picky? Sheesh, Judi, I'd be tempted to tell her to make her own bleedin' bear!

I learned to say no in a hurry after the naive and awful year when I told the elementary school PTA that I could sew! bear_angry

Eileen

Chowlea Bears Chowlea Bears
Posts: 602

What do people not understand about the word NO.?
Its a complete sentence -   No.

It requires no explanation.

But its so hard to say. :doh:

Perhaps its a female thing - not wanting to let anyone down.

Sandra  :redface:

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

Judi - That customer took the creative art right out of that bear, now didn't she? How can a person even be so fussy when they are buying art??? It's not like she has a pet bear that she's trying to duplicate, right?

All of those blaming the inability to say NO on being a WOMAN...... That's it!!!!!
Now, what do I do????? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Sex change operation????  :crackup:

Judi Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379

NO SEX CHANGE DAPHNE..you're too cute as a woman!

Hey, I just practiced saying "no"...in the nicest possible way, about five minutes ago.  I had to turn down a custom order for a tiger.  I love tigers and want to make a whole pride ( I really think this word pertains to lions not tigers) but on my own terms.  It is very impowering(empowering ?) to say no.  I also said no to someone wanting several tigers at wholesale cost.  No...sorry..."but I would be very happy to add your email to my notification list."...yada yada yada.  I need to say NO for my own sanity.

Just say no.

WildThyme Wild Thyme Originals
Hudson, Ohio
Posts: 3,115

I think it all really depends on how well you know and get along with the collector.  I've done a couple of custom orders that were simply delightful even though they WERE fairly specific.  If it is someone who truly appreciates your style and has a few requests that she wants to see come to live in her bear, it can be super rewarding for everyone involved.  I have a long wait list, but I do try to keep in touch with the folks who are waiting, and kind of get to know them during that waiting process... which makes my "job" so much easier. 

That one does sound a little bit like a nightmare though Judi!    bear_shocked   bear_wacko   I feel for you! 

Daphne... I am procrastinating on the quilting project just a wee little bit!!!   bear_shocked  bear_tongue 
It's not quite as bad as I thought though... it's just squares of calico fabric.  the children were learning about shape and color and patterns... so they each chose 9 squares and then put them in the order that they felt was best... so it's a three squares across three squares down kind of thing.  Apparently though, I just have to sew them together in strips of three then sew the three strips to each other... then sew to the back of the pillow that was made by each child with their hand prints on it..... then turn it and the kids will stuff it at school.... That's not even really quilting, is it!?  There is no batting... layers of fabric, no sewn design through the layers after the piecing is done!?   bear_wacko   So, it's not going to be nearly as awful as I thought it would be.   

Who knows, maybe this is the opportunity I have been missing to bond with that darn sewing machine!  Maybe the machine and I could come to some sort of an understanding, and I wouldn't break out in a cold sweat every time I look at it!  It's just like computers, right?  the more you use it and get used to it... the friendlier they become?  Or, so i hope!  bear_shocked

Kim Basta
Wild Thyme Originals

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

"I'm sorry, but you will have to check with my business manager about that. (Business manager, whispering to artist "Do you really want to do it?"  Artist: NO!) Business manager: I'm sorry sir/madam, but in looking over Miss Bearly There's schedule, I'm afraid she's booked until November, 2016. And we aren't taking custom orders beyond that yet. But thank you very much for your interest, we'll be happy to put you on our mailing list if you'd like."

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Renae..... Will you be my business manager? You can start with the Great Dane Dude!!!!

I Love Teddies South Florida
Posts: 1,684
Website

Daphne,

Sending hugs your way.   :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

Bluebeary says no!   bear_grin

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

Awww, Chrissie... give that sweet guy a huge hug for me!!! I miss him!!! Have you seen his sweet face on the 'other' bear forum by that 'other' supply company? He's part of their logo! bear_original Your bear really gets around! bear_happy

jenny Three O'clock Bears
warwickshire uk
Posts: 4,413
Website

I don't mind if someone asks me for 'a bear' or 'a rabbit'...or whatever...but if I have to make to their specifications I'll give up and go back to the salon and cut hair and do foil high-lights all day.

I do say no, often...and not because I am being belligerent or contrary. It's because my head won't work if my heart doesn't yearn to do what I ask it to...and then what results is something bland, boring and uninspiring because you can tell that I was not inspired to make it. Just because I made one of something...doesn't mean I want to make twenty like it either. I know that I have a big pot of inspiration and creativity and that comes out with things that surprise me sometimes...so in the nicest possible way I try to stick to what to want to make.

I Love Teddies South Florida
Posts: 1,684
Website

Daphne,

I gave Bluebeary a hug for you.  I know you miss him, but you can't have him back!   bear_grin    I didn't know he was part of a logo.  And then he's your avatar.  He's getting a big head!  And then he keeps reminding me that you made bunnies that are going to be in a movie.  He thinks he should be a movie star!   :crackup:

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