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Sunnie BearsAfter reading Gina's post, mine just seem trivial now. But I too have been in a funk. I have been off work for 5 days now because of the holiday and have spent all 5 days locked up in the house and today it finally hit me and I can't stop the tears. In May my fiance had to move back to Seattle. He had been transferred here and was here for the last 7 years. Now he had no choice but to go back to Seattle. I am retiring from my government job at the end of August. I have a home and family ties here. Actually 2 homes here. One I am renting out to a dear friend and his family. I planned to sell the rental and pay off both homes which would make it easier to retire. I had to put off selling the rental because my friend/tenant has to have back surgery and cannot possible move until the surgery. So it is looking like I am going to be here alone for quite some time. Mike (my fiance) will come visit in August, but since I have been working at least 9 hours a day for the govt as well as another 4-5 hours a night doing bears, I no longer even know anyone to get out of the house with. I usually go help my dad out by taking him to the grocery store etc. When I called this weekend to see if he needed anything, he already had a friend taking him shopping and he was spending today with other friends. All of a sudden I feel un-needed. Except for my puppies... I have one who won't come out from under the bed because of hearing fireworks, and 3 that won't stop barking at them. I can't help thinking...,.. WHAT AM I THINKING FOR RETIRING?? Nothing I can do about it now..
Well, I will stop feeling sorry for myself now.. just had to vent.
Sonya
Posts: 8,574Its an awful feeling....but you are needed and you will find other avenues to fullfill the need to be needed....honestly you will....
Are you still engaged? Are you moving to be with your fiance...?
I am sorry you are lonely....I hope August comes quickly for you so your honey will be with you again....I always feel like I have a hole in my heart when my honey is gone....since he has retired I don't have that anymore...
When I retired from nursing I had a real identity crises....and couldn't figure out what to do with myself....it took a while, but its better now. And I haven't really retired, as I keep up my lisences and continue to do a ton of ceus to keep my certifications as well....sigh....what am I expecting? who knows ? I can do a mean bandaid for a clumsy golly or two.....
I wish I could help you honey....
Just Us BearsSonya,
Just because your troubles are different to Gina's doesn't make them any less painful. I understand very well the pain of being apart from your honey...it hurts like the dickens. 
For what it's worth, try to look forward to your retirment from your government job as an opportunity to make a real go of your beautiful bears. The days will probably drag a bit until you and your fiance are together fulltime, but the best you can do is to keep yourself busy. If you are really craving human company and your dad is otherwise occupied, maybe you might consider visiting your local older peoples home and chatting with some of the residents who don't get visitors. I can guarentee you will find at least one or two that fit into that category...and I can imagine their delight at seeing your bears too...which of course you should share with them!
Just a suggestion.
But no matter what, keep your chin up..better days are ahead. Buy yourself some chokkie and treat yourself to a nice hot bath...your friends here are with you in spirit even if not physically.
Big hugs to you, :hug: :hug:
Sunnie Bearsaww Dilu... you always know just what to say. Well we are kind of still engaged. He wants me to move up to Seattle, but I am not crazy about the rain. And I hate to sell my house that I am so proud to have purchased all by myself.
Hayley... Thanks for the kind words. I guess I am just lonely right now.. and am finally being forced to face loosing my Mom last June. I haven't gone to the local retirement home since my Mom passed away there. It is still painful. Thank goodness tomorrow is a work day. I may just end up having to sell my home and go to Seattle, but I will NOT do it until we are married. I certainly couldn't handle losing everything I worked hard for if I wasn't in a totally commited relationship.
Hugs to you both
Sonya
Past Time BearsMy dear Sonya . . . it's really okay to let us know you're hurting - pain is pain no matter what's causing it and it still feels terrible. Don't think anybody here is comparing stories to see who has the best reason to be feeling bad.
I really hope your situation turns out the way you'd like. August is just two months away and we're here 24/7, so just vent away if you need to between now and then. Do something that pleases you at least once a day and take care, my friend. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Back Road BearsI can identify with the identity crisis!!!! And can certainly sympathize with the distance between you and your beau. And why is it that nothing is easy any more?????
I'm glad you shared with us! We all have challenges to face and most of us have times when we just can't deal. To each of us, our pwn problems can just seem unbearable despite what someone else is going through.
Us TTers are here for you..... we're such a loving and supportive bunch and great listeners! You are guaranteed sympathy here if nothing else!!!
Hang in there... pray a lot... God never gives us more than we can handle... and He has a sense of humor and answers prayers in some of the most unlikely ways if you keep your eyes open!
I'm sorry you are going through this... wish I could help!
I can only send lots of these :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Oh dear Sonja, I refer to this as a speed wobble which I tend to have on the odd occasions, when my wheels come unstuck.The things we do to ourselves and somehow we never seem to learn, or should I say I never learn. I always say next time I will handle it this way or that way and then I still get hurt and upset, so I think I understand how you feel.
Also during my speed wobble I seem to want to make all the decisions there and then, they cannot wait, and of course that is the most unsuitable time, so I have to try and wait till I am running smoothly and then re think things. Normally then I can think clearly and get all sorted out.
Perhaps you need to let the tears flow, let the pets calm down, and then things will start falling into place.
Remember the most IMPORTANT person needing you in your life is YOU.
Lynette
Patsy Lake BearsSonya I am sorry that you are feeling so low....... loneleness is an awful thing to go through ...but it will pass and you will find something else to fill your life .. just know that we are all here for you :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
He wants me to move up to Seattle, but I am not crazy about the rain. And I hate to sell my house that I am so proud to have purchased all by myself.
So sorry to hear you're in a funk Sonya! I understand entirely about your house as I'm in a similar situation myself. I've lived here for a very long time and have been proud to keep it going myself for the past six years or so. Selling up is a wrench ... but life doesn't stand still and nor should we, so *takes big gulp*, for me, it's time to move on and see what the future holds!
Being stuck in your own four walls all the time is very hard. Sometimes it helps just to take yourself out shopping or walking ... just out and about in the fresh air. I hope things work for you soon and have you smiling again. :hug: :hug: :hug:
