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Just got this and thought some of you might like it 
FOOTBALL
LIST OF RULES
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation
Chowlea BearsCan this be a football free haven pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its not the football match itself - its the seven hour 'whats going to happen' laughingly called the pre-match comment, followed by the two hour 'well I knew they wouldn't win' excruciatingly known as the post-match egg-on-the-face analysis, followed by the match 'highlights' or in truth a ninety minute replay, followed by the entire 'replay', The match itself is just fine - particularly with the sound off.
I know pundits have to justify their presence - but has anyone thought -JUST WATCH THE FLIPPIN MATCH.
:doh: :doh: :doh:
Sandra :redface:
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: Sandra, you're too funny! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
Warmest bear hugs, :hug:
Aleta
Chowlea Bears:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: Sandra, you're too funny! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
Warmest bear hugs, :hug:
Aleta
I try - indeed - some say I'm very trying.
Sandra :redface:
Posts: 3,177I LOVE THE WORLD CUP AND IF YOU DON'T ALL BEHAVE I SHALL POST DAILY BULLETINS ON EVERY PAGE ON TT
ooooh all those muscles, rock solid thighs, the smell of rubbing linament and testoterone.........and that's just me
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
By the way..............the Giro D'Italia starts tomorrow - it's the Italian version of the Tour de France so i will be glued to that for the next few weeks. Once again, muscles, rock solid thighs and the BEST reason to watch it is - Allessandro Petacchi, he is GORGEOUS!!
:dance:
Here's his piccy which he signed for me
Penny :hug:
Oh! He certainly is gorgeous! Is it hot in here?
Warmest hugs, :hug:
Aleta
Posts: 3,177Brazen Hussy Aleta wrote: Oh! He certainly is gorgeous! Is it hot in here?
IT'S STEAMING ALETA!!!!!!!!!!! 
:redface: :redface: :redface: :redface:
