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kraftyladies Beary Lovely ... Bears by Susan
Florida
Posts: 165

Hi Rita,

I am among the divorced too, he cheated on me as well.  Take everyones advice about getting a good lawyer.  I didn't get one, as we didn't have any children, and at the time I just wanted to run the other way.  So I basically ended up with nothing.  Don't let him do that to you.  everyone tried to tell me to get a lawyer get what was mine, etc, etc, I was young and didn't listen.  I SOOO regret it now. You deserve it all, in my opinion, anyway, so go after it!!!    Men are such jerks.  I can tell you one thing, it made me a MUCH stronger person, and a happier one too!   :)
My prayers are with you, it is hard, but you will make it.  It is his loss!!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Susan

rufnut Rufnut Teddy's
Victoria Australia
Posts: 2,725

Big Hugs to you Rita, hang in there  :hug: 

Sounds like you got some good friends and advice here, stay strong and positive.

bearlyart Canna Bear Paint
NY
Posts: 749

Hang in there, Rita!  My mother is working to complete her divorce at age 58 (36 year marriage), don't even begin to worry about your age being a factor in how well you can move on.  In fact, I can honestly say that that my mother wouldn't have gotten involved in the bear industry if not for her divorce.  And if she hadn't gotten involved, I certainly wouldn't have.  So that's two good things that have already come out of that.  Now if New York would just process her paperwork and finalize everything, she'd be in excellent shape about the whole thing.  (Hello, NY, 3 1/2 years worth of paperwork for a mediated divorce is a bit much.) 

Best wishes and best of luck that everything goes smoothly and as well for you as possible!  I know everyone here is pulling for you.

Kelly

Marie_ Kiprie Bears
Yokohama, Japan
Posts: 2,735

Rita, I am so sorry for what you going thru now. As everyone said please get some help for legal advise right now,
I don't now nothing about  South Carolina State Low but I'm sure that HE can't just put you out on street .

I just want to give you  big hugs .  :hug:
Marie

matilda Matilda Huggington-beare
WA
Posts: 5,551

Still here, giving support from afar  :hug:  bear_thumb

huggleybear C.W. Huggley Bears
Statham, GA
Posts: 281

Hi Rita,

First I want to give you the biggest bear  bear_flower bear_flower hug  bear_flower bear_flower!!!!!   

I don't have the time to read all the posts but I wanted to tell you that I am 56 and my husband of 35 years also asked me for a divorce in June.  I spent a couple of months crying, confused and tried to figure out what I had done wrong.  Then I got a lawyer to protect myself and a good conselor to help me straighten myself out. I realized it was not me...it was him.  Thanks to all my bear friends here on the forum and outside of the forum, I picked myself up and became independent. REMEMBER, NO MATTER HOW YOU FELL RIGHT NOW, IT DOES GET BETTER.

I finally have a chance to do whatever I want without considering him and his feelings.  The freedom to do this is great now. I didn't realize that everything in my life revolved around him..not what I wanted.

If there is anything I can do to help, please email me.  If it hadn't been for my friends and support from them, I don't think I would have bounced back so quickly. 

BIG HUGS!!!!
Cindy

Eileen Baird'sBears
Toronto
Posts: 3,873

bear_laugh bear_thumb Way to go, Cindy!  :hug:

Eileen

SueAnn Past Time Bears
Double Oak, Texas
Posts: 21,716

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

Cindy, Cindy . . . I've been thinking about you so much!!!  Soooo glad you posted!!  I'm pleased to hear that you are making a very successful comeback from all the pain and that you AREN'T blaming yourself!  You go, Girl!!  :clap:  :clap:  :clap:  :clap:

huggleybear C.W. Huggley Bears
Statham, GA
Posts: 281

Thanks Eileen and Sue Ann!  I am a work in progress!

Hugs to you both  bear_thumb

Laura Lynn Teddy Bear Academy
Nicholasville, KY
Posts: 3,653
Website

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:hug:  Big hugz to you too Cindy!!!!

Tammy Beckoning Bears
Nova Scotia
Posts: 3,739
Website

Cindy you are a real inspiration !   Hugs.

Rita, when you have time please let us know how you are doing.  I am worried about you. 

:hug: Tammy

Laura Lynn Teddy Bear Academy
Nicholasville, KY
Posts: 3,653
Website

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Jennskains wrote:

My father couldn't handle a special needs child and told me so.

Oh my gosh Jenn!!??  That's terrible  bear_angry  BIG hugz to you!!!   :hug:

Kingfisher Farm Teddies Kingfisher Farm Teddies and Folk Art
Illinois
Posts: 135

This thread proves there are no kinder women on earth than bear makers!! :teddybear:
And Rita, he planned this, you have to take control, KICK HIM out, get an attorney fast!!! You have many rights, but you will have to fight for them. You can't afford to cry now, get tough first, cry later, when all your ducks are in a row!!!! And there will be another love......right now it is Teddy Bears!!! They will help, you'll see!! HUGS Pam

heartsez Hearts Ease Bears
Fairfax,Vermont
Posts: 660

Rita i agree with all the prev comments..it DOES get better,, you are NOT too old!! my firts husband wanted a divorce after 6weeks of marriage( an old flame wanted him back) 6 weeks later she dumped him! again!  and cleaned him out besides,,then he said he would take me back if i was good,,,he cheated,,didnt work..put me down,,i blew a gasket and dumped him..the 2nd one was a great guy..but we werent happy together,,so after 10 yr i left him..i wasnt goingto get married again,,,made friends with people at work and one was an aa counselor,,i never drank but my family did,,we talked,,we became friends,,,better friends,,,then he fell in love and i was in a bad relationship at that point..he waited until i got my head staightened out an realized that the best thing that ever happened to me was standing right in front of me! we will be marrried for a total of 10 delightful years in nov,,i wouldnt have been the person i am if i hadnt been thru all that first,,he learned many things the hard way too..i beleive that things happen when they are meant to and you will get there!! and it will be sooooo much better!!! i dont believe you are doing anything wrong EXCEPT not loving YOURSELF!!  hang in there and talk to people about how you feel!! know we are all here to talk to and a big hug from me too!!! deb in vt

sandi Snowy Day Bears
St. Albans, VT
Posts: 263

Rita - I'm so sorry this had to happen to you.  From all of the posts it looks like you have a lot of friends to lean on.

Sandi

SueAnn Past Time Bears
Double Oak, Texas
Posts: 21,716

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

Rita . . . we'd like to hear from you - let us know if you're okay.  We're worried for you.  :hug:  :hug:

Shari Nova Scotia,Canada
Posts: 1,712

Yes very worried,has anyone tried emailing her personally?? I'm newish here but maybe on e of you ladies who know her better could try??

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